Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
