my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
