went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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