Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
