RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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