Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
