Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
