I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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