Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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