Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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