Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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