I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
