I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Bring me that man meat
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
