I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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