I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
