Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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