I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
