its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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