My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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