Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
