tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
