i permit you to call me
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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