She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
