is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
