The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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