chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
