On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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