I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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