I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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