Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
