I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
