worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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