ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize