there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
