Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
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He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
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I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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