I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
