I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
please don't ironically join a cult
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