sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
