That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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