she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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