My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
