worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
