she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
