dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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