nut hugger
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
