i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
