ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
