He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
