Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
why is half of my head shaved?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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