can we get nightvision for the apartment?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
