Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
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Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
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we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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