i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize