My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
do herpes really smell.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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