just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
