yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
