is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
