id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
