It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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