that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Ladies don't puke and tell
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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