You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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