There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
