She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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