she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
