How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
