gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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