Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
