At least make sure they are 18
Why
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
