It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
