Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
