Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
