You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
