I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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